Dress-speak

The wedding dress adventure continued this weekend as my mother, sister and I visited five different bridal stores in search for the best and most beautiful bridal bargain. At this point, I've lost count of how many dresses I've tried on. They're all beginning to look the same -- either ugly or not-as-ugly. In the not-as-ugly category, I've narrowed it down to my final two, both great deals and pretty styles. Which will it be? I'm not telling. Ha.

Now that I'm winding down my dress hunt, I must vent about this whole ordeal. It all takes place in a bridal store by appointment only, of course. After you divulge all your personal information to receive their 'updates', the consultant asks you what kind of dresses you like. The amount of detail you go into in your response is a testament to how "in the know" you are. There are a number of topics to discuss: silhouette, neckline, sleeves, fabric, veils, colors, beads, lace, bustles, petticoats, designers, prices, blah, blah, and more blah. Seriously, who knew there were so many different whites! And that the only difference between trumpets and mermaids is how far down your legs they flare. Its enough air to make your brain explode.

So in addition to learning more than I ever wanted to know about gowns, I've also learned that I never ever want to work in a bridal salon. Not only would I be unable to handle the increased decibel levels, but I would also be unable to refrain from cringing at some brides. I honestly don't understand the obsession with wanting to look like Cinderella. Do people really think that a bigger, more beaded dress will make them more beautiful? I clearly disagree. But that's just me... to each their own. Personally, I prefer to err on the simple, less adorned side. And although I still end up looking like a frosted cupcake, at least its something I find decadent and gorgeous. Red velvet please.